I've been back in the states for almost 2 weeks now and I'm floundering. Nothing feels real. I'm floating between houses, crashing in my mother's spare room and on my sister's couch. I meet up with old friends and do activities but I'm "off". I don't talk as much as I used to; I don't react the ways that I used to. People don't mention it, but I feel like they notice it.
I don't have a car, so I rely on others to go anywhere which means I'm never away from the house on my own. I haven't gotten a chance to find something solid. I'm not really and truly connected to anyone or anything. If I up and left the country again, I don't feel like my absence would affect anyone. While I was gone, everyone - friends, family, work - moved on and adjusted to me not being here. And it will take a while for them to make space for me again, for me to become a part of everything that I left again. For now, I'm just extra.
It'll get better. I'm sure it'll get better...but for now, readjustment sucks.