Saturday, October 6, 2012

Readjustment

I know I haven't finished updating with all of my travels yet because I'm a terrible blogger. But I'm in the mood for a different kind of post today.

I've been back in the states for almost 2 weeks now and I'm floundering. Nothing feels real. I'm floating between houses, crashing in my mother's spare room and on my sister's couch. I meet up with old friends and do activities but I'm "off". I don't talk as much as I used to; I don't react the ways that I used to. People don't mention it, but I feel like they notice it.

I don't have a car, so I rely on others to go anywhere which means I'm never away from the house on my own. I haven't gotten a chance to find something solid. I'm not really and truly connected to anyone or anything. If I up and left the country again, I don't feel like my absence would affect anyone. While I was gone, everyone - friends, family, work - moved on and adjusted to me not being here. And it will take a while for them to make space for me again, for me to become a part of everything that I left again. For now, I'm just extra.

It'll get better. I'm sure it'll get better...but for now, readjustment sucks. 

1 comment:

  1. Lauren -- we miss you! But hang in there, know that your absence was felt there just as much as your presence was felt (and appreciated) here! Much love from Mongolia - Laura A.

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